Choose to be optimisitic

I want to talk today about, how to be optimistic when the world around you isn't.

It's something I struggle with. I'm energetically sensitive, so if I am close by to someone who is complaining and being pessimistic all day long, then it can leave me feeling absolutely drained!

I found myself in this situation a lot when I worked in an office. After a while, I found that I pushed my optimistic approach aside and joined in the complaining.

A few things that helped me to get out of this was realising that optimism is a choice, I can actually decide to be optimistic. I started to recognise my negatives thoughts and chose to stop them in their tracks, turning them into thoughts of gratitude and positivity, whilst imagining a more ideal future.

It was around this time I stopped actively watching/reading the news. This is not out of ignorance, I still keep myself informed of world news and I am engaged, but not in an everyday sense; first thing in the morning or last thing at night - I am now conscious of the way I consume news/media and it has made me a much happier person.

I often work on mindset with my clients and it amazes me how choosing to be optimistic can be life-changing.

Today, can you challenge one thought-pattern that doesn’t serve you? Then again tomorrow? Then for the whole week? I welcome you to change your mind, your outlook, your approach to better serve you.

Have you taken a personality test?

When I last interviewed for a job I was asked to take one and it unsettled me at the time. I didn’t get the job and part of my feedback was that my personality test didn’t quite reflect the traits required for the job (although I was reassured it said a lot of lovely things about me!).

Well, I now think they are a great thing because I felt relieved when I didn’t get that role, I knew the job wasn’t right for me, however, I persevered because I thought I ‘should’ be climbing the career ladder within my field.

When I didn’t get that job my whole world changed and eventually for the better and lead me to where I am today. However, I kind of wish I had worked all this out before putting myself through the stress of applying and interviewing for a job that I knew intuitively wasn’t right for me. I wish I had taken a step back and possibly taken a personality test myself!

Even though I think they should not be taken as fact, nor a magic ‘tell-all’, I think they are a great way to help you look at yourself objectively and I believe you can gain some great insights.

If you are feeling confused about what you want from your career, I encourage you to take one - they can spark thoughts and ideas!

When you subscribe with me, in my welcome email you’ll find a personality test (that I personally recommend - I did lots of research!) and I am gifting you a free call with me to discuss your results.

Subscribe here to take part and book your call.

My life coach training course review

Do you feel called to train as a Life Coach? In this blog I want to share with you my experience of my training with The Beautiful You Coaching Academy (BYCA).

LIFE COACH COURSE REVIEW

My decision to become a life coach did not come lightly, and the decision of who to train with was even harder. I initially thought I wanted an in-person training course, however, once I discovered BYCA, I completely changed my mind, and the other courses didn’t even compare.

If you have been interested in coach training, but have not quite found the right course for you, then maybe like me, this course will deeply resonate with you and all you want to achieve.

READ ON TO DISCOVER WHY I LOVED THE COURSE AND MY BONUS OFFER FOR YOU!

I’m so grateful I found Beautiful You, a course that allowed me to be myself, find purpose and provide me with the skills to create my dream career. Beautiful You go above and beyond to make sure you are equipped with everything you need to become a great life coach. This is the most robust, educational, engaging and personable course I have ever done (including those in-person). This course is unique because it doesn’t just teach you how to become a coach, but you learn so much about yourself in the process, along with how to create a thriving business and how to best serve your clients.


THE THINGS I LOVED ABOUT THE COURSE

COMMUNITY & CONNECTIONS

All of a sudden you find yourself in a world of women who support each other and lift each other up. The connections you make with your like-minded fellow trainees and your trainers are honest and sincere. There is an amazing facebook group set up, full of energy, so you can get to know your peers on a daily basis and it’s completely up to you how much you engage. I have many close friends who I met from Beautiful You and have a huge network of fellow coaches to connect with and ask support of. You have the option to be paired with a coaching buddy, with a thorough matching process. It made a huge difference for me, as I had someone to practice with, which did wonders for my confidence when taking on my first pro-bono clients.

PERSONABLE

The team are so personable from the beginning; you sense how genuine they are and they have a heart-centred approach to everything they do. Julie, the founder and lead trainer is a deeply inspirational teacher, with so much knowledge and insight.

LEARNING MATERIALS

They have it all. Manuals, workbooks, online lectures, live group calls, interviews with experts in their field, coaching series examples, templates, I could go on. I really appreciated things like the coaching contract template and worksheets for my clients. The online portal was one of the best I have ever used.

SUPPORT AND GUIDANCE

You know exactly what you are doing and feel supported throughout. I like a clear process and structure with clear deadlines, otherwise I can feel overwhelmed! The modules are designed in a way that means you get a ‘step by step’ approach to becoming a coach and building a business (you can tell it was designed by a coach!).


AT THE END OF THE TRAINING:

  • I felt ready to launch my business; I just had some further work to do around my niche and I took some time to build the foundations.

  • I was very clear on what I wanted to achieve in my business and I had a 6-month, 1-year, 3-year and a 5-year plan sorted! I am still working with those plans today.

  • I knew my values, my purpose and why I wanted to do this career.

  • I knew how to set up a coaching business.

  • I was 100% confident in my capabilities as a coach.

  • I felt supported, with lots of new friends and connections.

Doing this course wasn’t just a way to further my skills, I saw it as the gateway to transformation and a career I had dreamed of. I put my everything into it, I coached pro-bono clients alongside my studies and had a full-time corporate job at the time. It was full on, but a very enjoyable journey and so worth it!

HAVE QUESTIONS?

Contact me to schedule a call to ask me anything about my honest experience of the course and my journey as a life coach to help you decide whether this is the right choice for you.


SIGN UP WITH ME

If you want to do a training course in coaching, I’m guessing you are looking to change your career in some way? Well I could be the perfect coach for you, combing my own personal experience of becoming a coach and my specialist field of career change.

Through signing up with me, I will be honoured to offer you my Signature 3-month Bespoke Coaching Series absolutely FREE!

This includes:

Life Coaching Course

1 x pre-coaching questionnaire

  • 1 x initial consultation (90 minutes) via phone/ Zoom

  • 5 x coaching sessions (1 hours), every 2 weeks via phone/ Zoom

  • Worksheets & resources throughout

  • Unlimited email support throughout

  • Recordings of all sessions

  • Bonus: 1 x 2-hour Coaching Business Session to take your business to the next level (to be used within 12 months).

    This package is worth £800/ $1020


The important details:

  • I am a Certified BYCA Coach and this means your coaching series with me will count towards your certification should you wish to become a Certified Coach in the future.

  • We can get started anytime after the refund period (usually about 1 month after your course has started). However, I usually advise to begin your coaching once you have completed the course or towards to end of your studies to avoid overwhelm.

  • I get a kick back for every trainee that enrols through me and it’s why I can offer such a generous offer. I am very proud to be an affiliate and I can vouch that this course changed my life.

  • When registering for the course you will need to enter my full name on the form (Rebecca Jade Hoole), please see photo below.

 
Life Coaching Course
 

GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR QUESTIONS OR TO ARRANGE A CALL

Name *
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Adult Struggles Podcast: Transitioning out of the 9-5

Transitioning out of the 9-5

Click to Listen: 
Apple Podcasts: adultstruggles.com/itunes 
Google Podcasts: adultstruggles.com/googleplay  
Spotify: adultstruggles.com/spotify 
iHeart Radio: adultstruggles.com/iheart
Podbean: adultstruggles.com/podbean
Overcast FM: adultstruggles.com/overcast
Stitcher: adultstruggles.com/stitcher

You’ll learn how to make your own Career Change

While it’s not an easy decision to leave job security behind, Rebecca’s advice and firsthand experience will help you realise that it’s all possible! We talk about the potential challenges of leaving the 9-5, how to build a financial safety net, and how to make the transition as smooth as possible. 

  • Signs that it’s time to move on from a job (even if it’s just to find another 9-5)

  • How to uncover your passion and build a career from it

  • The potential difficulties of leaving your job and how to avoid them

  • How to make the transition out of the 9-5 as smooth as possible

  • Not interested in leaving the 9-5? Learn how to make an industry change!

It's not me, it's you - 5 signs your work environment is the problem

Do you hate your job and are considering a whole new career? Wait, it might not be necessary, have you considered it could be your environment and workplace culture that you hate?

Do you find yourself complaining daily about your colleagues, boss and workplace politics? Do you often feel outraged? If so it’s likely that your workplace has become toxic, which can be harmful to your wellbeing. 

You may just need to rediscover your career (and workplace) values and change jobs! If you are struggling to define your values, you might find my Five Steps to Finding your Career Values workbook on my Resources page helpful.

To help you out, I’ve listed 5 signs below (I’m sure there are many more too):

  1. Detachment

    Does everyone seem miserable and appear to have given up? Nobody wants to take initiative and are only doing the bare minimum? It’s likely that hard work is not rewarded in this work place, so why bother? Feeling taken for granted and unappreciated will drain the passion and enthusiasm out of most people. Those who have the confidence to change jobs will leave quickly, leaving a lot who stick around for job security which can become the ‘collective’ mood.

  2. Illness

    Toxic work environments and stress cause sickness. Are you and you co-workers off sick a lot?

  3. Staff turnover is high

    It’s likely that they will be long-standing staff members who have got used to the toxic environment and accept it as ‘normal’, however new employees will come and go because they have experienced happier workplaces.

  4. Controlling management

    So many rules and regulations. Everything needs to be approved, so you are constantly held up and cannot get on with your work. These environments cause productivity and passion to plummet. Process is important, but it needs to work for the employees too.
    Or maybe you are being micromanaged? Whilst some may benefit from direct instruction, most people become disengaged when a manager is overbearing. It can make employees feel like they are not ‘good enough’, whilst having to constantly having prove themselves.

  5. Your work life balance is not respected.

    A good employer and manager will know the benefits gained by employees leaving on time and having a good work-life balance. Whilst some jobs do require long hours, the issue lies in unclear boundaries. For example, you are supposed to leave at 5pm, but your manager expects you to work longer and for free. It’s proven that if you are efficient in your working hours, staying longer isn’t productive. If you find yourself working outside your hours, cancelling plans and prioritise catching up on work email over your personal life, then I would question your workplace’s culture on work-life balance.

What is life coaching? 

I feel like there is a need to talk about what life coaching actually is because:

  1. It can be confusing (based on the blank stares I often get when I say what I do) and it’s a relatively new (but growing!) industry.

  2. There are a lot of people calling themselves a ‘coach’ without any training, qualifications, nor the life experience to do so, which is a bit worrying.

Firstly, I’ll talk about what it is not

  1. It is not counselling. Counselling takes into account where people are in their lives (like life coaching) however, counselling supports someone to deal with unhelpful thoughts, behaviours and life patterns. Counselling often looks to the past to discover why someone is in their present situation. Life coaching only looks from someone’s present to their future.

  2. It is not consulting. Consultants are hired for their expert advice and answers, and are able to tell people exactly what to do and when. Life coaching facilitates thought so people can find their own answers within themselves to move forward and create the life they want. It allows space for them to learn more about themselves at a deeper level. 

  3. It is not the same as mentoring, however similar. Coaching and mentoring may use the same skills and approach, however coaching will be contracted to a specific term (which can be extended), whereas mentoring is often a longer term relationship. Coaching does not include providing advice and is focused on the client’s own thinking, whereas mentoring will include some telling or offering advice.

  4. It is not the same as sports coaching. Yes they both may challenge people, provide accountability and cheer people on, but in life coaching there is no winning or losing, nor is it competitive. 

  5. It’s not like hiring a best friend. Even though a strong bond is usually formed, a coach will hold a much more sophisticated role than a friend would. A coach will be direct, honest (with care) and have no agenda or bias, unlike friends who might be worried about hurting feelings or might prefer a certain outcome for their friend.

So what is it?

Life coaching draws upon techniques from psychology, sociology, social work, personal development and career development to assist people to create change, moving them from where they are to where they want to be, it assists people to think and behave differently, whilst consciously learning what is best for them and how they want to live their life. 

The coaching relationship is made up of motivation, education, accountability and helping people to make the lasting change that improves their life. A life coach is non-critical and non-judgemental, and is wholly committed to the goals their clients want to achieve. 

Coaching assists people to uncover what is truly important to them, their personal values, setting goals and creating a plan to move towards where they want to be. A coach reminds the client of their strengths and helps to develop positive feelings about themselves whilst giving valuable feedback. 

Who can call themselves a coach? 

Anyone! Scary right? The industry is not currently regulated. That’s why it’s important to check out who is coaching you. If someone is a business coach and clearly has many years of experience and a portfolio of successful businesses spanning over 10+ years, then I would say they are qualified. Or like me, someone may hold a certified qualification that shows they have undertaken extensive training (not a weekend course) and have completed a certain amount of hours coaching and have passed assessments.

It is not for me to judge who is a credible coach and who is not, it will be down to you. I would encourage you to choose a coach you resonate with, who will get you, along with someone you deem qualified and experienced enough. I believe coaches should offer a free chemistry call with no strings attached, as it is important that you form an instant connection for coaching to be really effective. 

Lastly, I believe it’s better to choose a coach who has a niche, as they are likely to be more of an expert in their field and cater specifically to their audience, for example I focus on helping women through career change, although life coaching will always look at someones life as a whole. 

Have any other questions about coaching? Feel free to get in touch, I’d love to hear from you. 

How to find your passion with ikiga

Ikiga what?

It was some years ago I first heard about Ikiga, which is a wonderful Japanese concept.

If you hate your job and you have no idea what you want to do, then I suggest you try ikigai.

Why? Well the translation is ‘reason for being’ and the place it originates from has the largest happy and healthy population in the world, so they must be on to something! I also used this some years ago when I was figuring out my career and it really helped me!

So what is it? 

It considers only 4 factors, which are: 

  1. What you love

  2. What you believe the world needs

  3. What you’re good at

  4. What you can get paid for

How does it help you to find your passion? 

You’ll need a pen and paper for this part; let’s turn them into questions.

  1. What do you love to do?
    Then does time fly by for you? When do you feel passionate? 

  2. What do you believe the world needs?
    What injustice in the world really gets to you?
    What can you complain and rant about for hours?
    You don’t have to think about the whole world here, a great place to start is your local community. 

  3. What are you naturally good at?
    Something that seems to come to you easily and people often ask you for your expertise in. This doesn’t have to be a passion. 

  4. What skills do you have that people would pay for?
    Again, this doesn’t have to be a passion but things you are very competent at.

As you can see from the diagram below, ikigai is the sweet spot where all four intersect; that’s where you’ll find your passion, your aligned career and fulfilment!

Ikigai

Struggling to answer the questions? 

Start with the questions you can answer and consider what is your most important factor and your least important factor. For example some people are more driven by money than others. These people may be content doing a job they are not the best at, but find happiness in the financial security. Or maybe you want to make a difference in the world and happy to earn less and just enough to get by. We all have a different definition of happiness. 

If you are struggling to figure out your passions, then I encourage you to try things out that appeal to you, do something totally different, be open to new opportunities so you can discover what your passions are and what they aren’t. You’ll never find them by doing nothing.

If you want to read further, here is a link to the book Ikigai: The Japanese secret to a long and happy life by Héctor García and Francesc Miralles

Why you don't need to quit your job today

If you know about what I do as a Career Change Coach, then you’ll know at some point I may support my clients to quit the job they hate! However, I want to discuss why you shouldn’t quit the job you hate - today. 

The internet is filled with quick fix solutions, quick loans and quick successes, however genuine coaching and the type of coaching I deliver involves a journey to create lasting change and definitely doesn’t give the false promise of ‘overnight success’. Do you know anyone who has had overnight success, in real life? People tend to be in a job they hate because of financial obligations and let’s face it, they are somewhat real. I would never encourage anyone to quit their job without a plan.

The steps below outline what you can do when you hate your job, but you’re not in a financial position to quit today.

Step 1: Get objective

Ever heard of a downwards spiral? Sometimes when you are stuck in a situation and are feeling all the emotions it is difficult to be objective. Experiencing these emotions can stop us from seeing the other options available to us. Have a conversation with yourself (either in your head, out loud or on paper) as if you are your own best friend giving yourself advice. Ask yourself important questions to get clear, such as why you want to quit your job; why you are still in your job and why you are not doing anything about it. With your objective mindset, ask yourself any other questions you need clarity on.

Step 2: Make the most of a bad situation

Some people might say you have to tolerate or quit a job you hate. Well I say you can make it more bearable - for now. I suggest writing down a list of the things you like or love about your job, whether it’s your lunch break or engaging with clients and apply more of your attention and appreciation there.

Write a list down of the things you dislike or hate. With your objective mind, question what you could do to make it more bearable in the short-term. These are a few examples: 

  • Hate your commute? Talk to your manager about changing your hours to avoid peak times and working from home one day a week. Can your commute time be more enjoyable by listening to your favourite podcast or inspirational book? 

  • Don’t get on with your manager? Talk to HR about reporting to someone else. 

  • Always working late? Set yourself boundaries and stick to your contracted working hours. A recent study of 65,000 U.S. employees found out exactly how unproductive overtime work is, proving that the more people work, the less productive they become. In other words, staying after work hours is practically useless!

  • Is there an office bully? Take control of the situation, ask to move away from them, inform your manager and HR. Start to document incidents and only use email to communicate where possible.

  • Are you really bored? Apply mindfulness in your work, so you are focussing on the task at hand rather than focussing on the boredom. Use your current work to get clear on what you don’t like and focus on how you spend your time outside of work, you could sign up for evening classes or events.

Lastly, buy a desk plant! Always a winner to cheering up a workspace in my opinion.

Step 3: Work on your mindset

The next step will be shifting your mindset to one geared up for success! For example, if you are constantly thinking how awful your dead end job is, maybe you can shift this thinking to: my job provides me financial stability whilst I look for another job, or my job pays for my passion project until I make a living from it.  Shifting your mindset is a great way to lift your energy and attract more opportunities your way. Examine your thoughts, what are you telling yourself?  

Step 4: Take your next best step

Imagine you are feeling more objective, have made your work life much more bearable and have a positive mindset; now you are ready to start taking steps towards your dream career. 

Want to do something different? Start your research, enrol on to a course or start applying for new roles. 

Got a business idea? Start researching the problem you want to solve for others and the ways you can serve. 

Struggling with your next best step?

A great way to figure this out is by defining your personal career values. Take a look at my Career Change Workbook on my resources page to help you on your way. 

Are you a people pleaser?

I often support my clients with their people pleasing tendencies… Why? Because I used to be one and it almost drained the life out of me!

People pleasers might be the nicest and most helpful people you know. They never say no, you can count on them when you need a favour and they spend a lot of time doing things for other people.

They get things done, whilst helping others, they make all the plans within their friendship groups and they always have a shoulder for you to cry on.

Which all sounds great right? Out of balance, it can be very unhealthy behaviour, as I discovered!

Why people please? There is often a deep rooted fear of rejection or a fear of failure. I used to give myself such a hard time if I made a mistake and would hate to upset anyone! I also consider myself a caring person, but that’s no good if you stop caring for yourself first!

Overtime people pleasers neglect themselves, they start to feel resentment, they stop enjoying occasions because they are too concerned with everyone being happy - especially if you are the organiser! I found that this lead to stress and anxiety.

Lastly, you can feel taken advantage of. I found overtime some friends pushed boundaries, asking for more than what was reasonable. Even people who don’t mean to, they just might not realise the stress you are under because you look like you have it all together. This was especially true for me in my job too, I found myself with by far the largest workload - I never said no, ever.

I taught myself to release my fears of rejection and failure. I started to say no more and set boundaries for myself. In the process some friends left my life (but new aligned souls came in). I realised we are responsible for teaching people how to treat us, we accept or reject their behaviour. You need to set boundaries of what you can and cannot do and what you will and will not accept. Then you need to stick to it. You cannot place the blame on others. The right people in your life will understand.

I found I had to work through feelings of guilt, however everyone deserves to take care of themselves and so you cannot feel guilty if you think of it this way!